Yesterday morning my 16-year-old son and I had to get up at the sliver of dawn to get him to the University of Utah by 7:45 a.m. so he could take the ACT test for college. Unfortunately for him he was sequestered most of the day in Warnock Hall (which always looks like “Warlock” Hall […]
Every Tuesday morning I get up at what feels like the middle of the night and go to a 7:00 a.m. Toastmasters meeting. I know what you’re thinking. How can anyone be coherent enough at that hour to do anything other than choke down an overpriced cup of coffee christened with a pretentious Italian name? […]
Last week I was washing my hands in a public restroom in City Creek (a shopping mall in SLC) when I heard the toilet flush in one of the stalls, and out came a toddler girl, followed by…a man. I must have looked incredulous, because the guy immediately started running at the mouth like a […]
On Monday my 15-year-old son and I headed to the DMV in Heber for the SECOND time. The kid wants his driving permit, and frankly I’m ready to have him cart me around like Cinderella in a pumpkin carriage. Once my 18-year-old went off to college I lost not only my chauffer, but also my […]
When my eldest son turned 15 I took him to the DMV, where he promptly received his driver’s permit on his birthday. As I watched the lady behind the counter give my son his new credential my hair instantly turned three shades whiter, and the lines on my face dug in a little deeper. It […]
Well, I did it. I took my kid to college and left him there. To get over it I’m now hanging out in the West Indies like some hippy-dippy nomad, meditating alone on a deserted beach, and drowning my sorrows in rum and various fresh fruit juices. All seems apropos to me. Before I got […]
This week I moved my son into his dorm at the University of Miami. It took us all of two minutes because he had one duffle bag of clothes, one MacBook, one backpack full of music and books, and four instruments (an alto sax, tenor sax, clarinet and flute). Now granted, we had to go […]
If you’re friends with me on Facebook (And if you’re not, what’s wrong with you? “Friend” me right now!) you know that my oldest son, Derrick, played this week at Carnegie Hall with jazz sax legend David Sanborn. At age 17 Derrick’s the lead alto sax player in the pro big band, Caleb Chapman’s Crescent […]
As I was going through my email this weekend, thinning out all the junk that my spam filter somehow misses, I came across a hilarious Huffington Post Comedy blog called 25 LOL-Worthy Holiday Photobombs. Basically, these are what would have been nice, even downright poignant or sweet family photos if some buffoon hadn’t jumped into […]
I was folding clothes the other day when I objectively looked at a pair of my sensible, Spandex, industrial-strength underwear and thought, Ew, yuck. These are NOT cool. These are so UNCOOL they make Betty White draped in a gansta hoodie and pajama jeans look cool. No way would you ever see these lame-o granny […]