Let me see, where was I? Oh yes, I was going to post the video of the world semi-finals speech I gave at the Toastmasters International Speech Contestlast week in Orlando. But I got a sidelined on Tuesday when a food processor blade did a swan dive out of the cupboard, landing on an artery in my hand. Which resulted in an array colorful words usually heard only during marine boot camp or on loading docks. Needless to say, I had to have stitches…in my hand, that is (just to be clear).

Even though I’m all about listening to my doctor’s ridiculously expensive advice, sometimes I think doctors error on the side of caution because they just don’t want the headache (or the lawsuit) of being wrong. Today is day five since our food processor blade carved up my hand like a Cornish game hen, and I’m happy to say I can now type just fine (even though the doctor said it might take longer). Yes, the stitches are still in (they come out on day 10), and yes I still can’t get my hand wet, but I can once again attack a keyboard like maniacal two-headed woodpecker.

And Now Back to the Speech Portion of Our Show

So as promised, before I was so rudely interrupted by a nasty kitchen appliance, below is my speech performance on the world stage at the Toastmasters International Speech Contest. (The contest was televised on pay-per-view, so the quality of my clip is actually pretty good.) As I already mentioned in a previous blog, I didn’t win, but that’s okay. Because the guy who did come out on top in m group (Mario Lewis, with his hilarious speech “Size Matters”) absolutely deserved his accolade and I couldn’t be happier for him.

I’m also proud of the fact that I won several speech contests in the last year to get to that point, and that I was able to walk up on that stage and tell my story. A story that is so personal that at the very end of my speech I choked up on the line about “learning to let go, not because I want to, but because I have to.” That line suddenly hit very close to home on many levels. Since I last publicly gave that speech my life has changed in ways that I didn’t ask for and didn’t expect. But in the end, just like unexpectedly slicing open your hand on an ordinary Tuesday, you deal with what comes. I can’t go into it now, but suffice to say I’ll have some great blog posts in the near future. In any case, I have no room to complain because my kids are healthy and I’m healthy, which is all that really matters.

So even though you may have seen it before (from a previous contest win), here is my speech, “Wynton Marsalis Had My Back”, taped on August 16, on the world stage at the semi-finals of the 2012 Toastmasters International Speech Contest. Enjoy! (P.S. I wish you guys all could’ve been there. Next time I’m bringing a posse!)

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Stacy Dymalski is a stand-up comic who gave up the glamorous life of coach travel, smokey comedy clubs, and heckling drunks for the glamourous life of raising kids (who happen to be bigger hecklers than the drunks). This blog is her new stage.

For more of Stacy’s comedy check out her hilarious book Confessions of a Band Geek Mom available in paperback and on Kindle on Amazon.com.